How Unlikely
by AmberFox and Lyell
Summary: ErutisKrayon One shot. Erutis gets kidnapped and Krayon comes to save her! What will Hejem and Eclipse do! Rated T for kissing, the words Screwed and Pissing out your ears and Chris falling down a very long flight of stairs.


**How Unlikely… By Lyell **

(This is my first Demon Diary Fic, that I typed a very long time ago. So all you people, please be kind. There isn't many Erutis/Krayon fics out there, and they are my fav pairing, so I wrote this. I hope you enjoy this little one-shot. I'm certain Erutis won't… Hehehe!)

'How did I get into this again?' Erutis thought to herself as she sat, angrily fuming, tied to a pole in a tent. 'Oh yeah, that's right. It's because I was stupid enough to believe they would honour a contract.'  
Days earlier Erutis and her gang had been hired to accompany a large merchant convoy through bandit country. Simple, right? Wrong! Because as soon as they had camped for the night and she was just about to climb into bed, a bunch of thugs knock her out to _ransom _her back to her _own men_!  
Damn this is embarrassing!  
And no lord fancy-pants Krayon to bust her out.  
Just when she had managed to loose him too! Damn it!

Meanwhile Erutis's soldiers were tearing their hair out! If they didn't get her back she would kill them! If there was anything left of them after the Demon Lord Krayon got his hands on them.  
They were screwed!  
"Hey guys." Their temporary leader said. "I've got an idea."  
"What?" One of the closer men asked.  
"I hope it's better than your 'Sneak in dressed as washerwomen' idea. That one really sucked." Another said, leaning on the large rock they were using as a table.  
The first man snorted. "Well this would never have happened if _someone_ hadn't abandoned his post in the middle of the night, letting the enemy sneak past and steal _the_ _chief_!"  
A man over cried out. "I never let them past! They were being lead by the wagon master! How the hell was I suppose to know they were in cahoots?! And I needed a piss!"  
"Well you'll be pissing out of your ears when she gets hold of you later!" The acting chief said angrily, banging his fist into the rock. "Now shut up and let me tell you my plan!"

* * *

In Raenefs castle a miserable demon lord could be found, hanging limply over a balcony rail, sniffing into an overly frilled hankie.  
"Why are you here again, Lord Krayon?" Eclipse asked with a sigh.  
Krayon only sniffed louder into his tissue. "He's just worried about Erutis." Raenef said from his seat at the rooms desk, going over some papers Eclipse had ordered him to read.  
"My beloved could be anywhere!" Krayon howled into the cloth.  
'And this is suppose to be one of the five oldest demon lords in existence…' Eclipse couldn't help but feel a little pity for the humans living under Krayon.  
"I'm sure Erutis is okay." Raenef continued happily. "She's really strong." Then thought 'And scary!' as he remembered all the times she beat up Chris.  
"My love is strong as a mountain, but as delicate as a flower." Krayon sniffed, feeling a little better for Raenef's words.  
Suddenly Eclipse raised his head and looked alert. "Eclipse?" Raenef asked.  
"There is a messenger at the gates." The older demon informed his chosen lord, before disappearing with a "Go!".  
Raenef looked over to Krayon, who was still collapsed on the rail and dabbing his eyes. "You'll fall off if you're not careful." He said.  
Krayon just looked dejected as Eclipse appeared again with a scroll in his hands. "It's a message from Erutis."  
"Ooooo!" Krayon had jumped up, all signs of depression having disappeared, and was attempting to snatch the parchment from Eclipse before he could give it to Raenef.  
When Raenef finally got it he read the extremely blotchy message aloud for everyone's benefit, as Krayon was pouting at his unsuccessful capture attempts.

"Dear Demon Lord Raenef,  
Hope you are well.  
(There was several crosses out, but the letter continued.) Boss Erutis has been captured by the enemy and is being held in their stronghold. If we don't buy her back they intend on selling her to the law for crimes we committed before she took over, including the deaths of the Rojaert family and the numerous pillaging crimes committed before that.  
We beg that you contact Lord Krayon and help us get our Boss back as she's really good at being our Boss and teaching us sword skills and stuff.  
Thank you."

'Interesting…' Eclipse rubbed his chin in thought.  
"Hey! There's no signature at the bottom. Just an X." Raenef said holding the paper at an odd angle to see it better.  
"As expected." Eclipse snorted. "It's surprising one man in her company could even _write_, let alone sign his name."  
Krayon had been silent up until now but his companions noticed his power whip around him angrily as he stormed over to the balcony and stared out over the yard, his cloak thrashing around him due to his dramatic magic. "Krayon?" Raenef hesitantly asked. Krayon only responded with a growl before his cloak bellowed one last time and he took off into the air with a roar of power.  
"Maybe we should of told him about the P.S." Raenef muttered.  
"…?" Eclips looked over his master's shoulder to read the quick scrawl.  
"I mean, it does tell us the army's location…" Raenef explained, scratching his head.  
"Good. Lord Kryaon will be flying in circles for hours. It will give us time to prepare the Crusaders…" Eclipse turned away and disappeared again. "Go!"  
Raenef looked around "Huh?" 'I'm all alone…'

* * *

At the high temple of Rased the day hadn't gone entirely well and there was a stir. Chris was tied up and gagged at the corner of the prayer alter so his teacher could keep an eye on him.  
"Ahem." High Priest Hejem coughed as his followers did their best not to look the old man in the face. It was one thing to correct the High Cleric in the middle of a sermon but they didn't expect the High Cleric in question to jump the boy, beat him up, then tie him up in a corner with rope he had gotten out of thin air. It was almost as if he had been expecting Chris to do something stupid…  
"Sir!" A novice called as he stumbled through the doors of the hall. "There's a sign glowing in the courtyard!"  
The priests filed out after Hejem and surrounded the glowing inscription that had appeared in front of the gates and prepared themselves, easily identifying it as a Demon Teleportation Circle.  
There was a flash of light and smoke obstructed the armoured figure that had just appeared. The priests were silent and gripped their staffs, ready to unleash a crate load of Holy Butt-whoop on the intruding demon.  
"Hey? Is Chris here?" The figure asked in an innocent boys voice as the smoke cleared to reveal Raenef in scaled sliver mail and holding a scary looking helm under his arm with a gauntleted hand. But what really got the audiences attention was his overly large metal shoulder and leg pads, blue bellowing cape and the sword strapped to his side. But it was mainly the shoulder pads.  
"Demon Lord Raenef." Hejem greeted seriously as he stepped forward and gave a nod of welcome. "What brings you to the High Temple of Rased?"  
"Can I see Chris?" Raenef innocently asked with a smile.  
The Priests were shocked, thinking alone the lines of, 'It's like he's going to ask if he could come out and play!' and. 'Is this really a Demon Lord?!'  
Raenef looked around, just noticing his welcoming party. "Hello!" He said cheerfully. "I am the Great and Scary Ancient Demon Lord Raenef V. How are you?"  
The priests sweat-dropped as they thought: 'Is he serious?'  
"Mmmmh!"  
"Hey Chris!" Everyone turned to look as Raenef cheerfully waved to the boy cleric as he wiggled his way out the doors. "Careful or you might…"  
"Mmmmmh!!!" Thump da thump da thump thump thump da thumpity thump etc…  
'…Roll down the steps…' Raenef sweat dropped as he knelt down and smiled to aid his dizzy friend. "Never mind." 'That's a lot of steps.'  
Hejem coughed again to get Raenef's attention. "Did you want something with Chris?"  
"Oh? Yes actually." Raenef handed the priest the letter he had received from Erutis's men. "We might need some help with this."  
Hejem read the letter as his congregation waited with bated breath and Raenef untied Chris. "I don't see how this involves our Lord Rased." He finally said, eyebrow raised.  
"It doesn't." Raenef said with a smile. The clerics all collapsed. 'What odd people…' Raenef continued. "But Krayon was really angry when he left and Eclipse said that there was a bunch of small towns near there and thinks that Krayon might over exaggerate a tiny bit and blow up half the countryside in that area." If the subject wasn't so serious, the priests of Rased might of thought Raenef delusional with fever. But it seemed the High Cleric knew the boy to be a Demon Lord and was taking him perfectly serious. "Eclipse said we were okay for Crusaders but we would need some Clerics or Priests to stop Krayon's magical backlash, or something…" Raenef looked deep in thought for a second then smiled up at the old priest and explained. "But I zoned out when he explained it to me, so I don't completely understand it. It's a bad thing though, right?"  
Hejem sighed. "Yes. It is a very bad thing."  
"Raenef, you idiot!" Chris was finally conscious and, unfortunately, his gag had slid off. "It means that hundreds of people could _Die_!"  
"And there will be a level of destruction not seen since the Hangma Wars." Hejem said flatly.  
"Oh…" Raenef said as he untied the last of the ropes. "That's bad!"  
"Idiot…" Chris muttered as he staggered and got up with Raenef's help.  
Hejem sighed. "If we do not help we would be sentencing hundreds of people to death, but if we do help we would breach the covenant of non-aggression…"  
"Screw the covenant!" Chris cried. "I'm going to help, even if I have to go alone! We can't let hundreds, maybe even a thousand, of people die just because some butch girl, Demon Lord Fancy-pants has a major crush on, has gotten into trouble!"  
"Krayon just wants to save Erutis." Raenef sniffed, tears in his eyes.  
"Wait…" The Second Cleric, that guy with the straight black hair down to his chin who doesn't seem to have a name, said as he looked over Hejem's shoulder to see the letter. "The mighty Demon Lord Krayon, one of the five oldest Demon Lord's in existence, has a crush?!"  
"Yeah. And she looks like a dogs dinner." Chris smirked.  
"Come on! Don't be mean!" Raenef defended. 'Though Chris has a point.' He thought, then got a little nervous at his next idea. 'But if we said it to her face we'd be killed!'  
"Do you know how long this will take?" Hejem continued, ignoring all the odd stares his disciples were giving him.  
'He's gonna humour the kid…?!'  
"Maybe all day. Krayon just went zooming off before I could tell him where she was." Raenef said helpfully, smile never leaving his features.  
Hejem sighed and massaged his temples before he then began barking out orders, making everyone jump. "Everyone! I want the priests and clerics to get ready! Someone tell the kitchens to have a day's worth of rations waiting to be picked up! Pack light, only the essentials. Those who can use Restoration Magic report to the temples stockroom for medical supplies when you are done. Novices are to stay here, break into form groups and report to the stockrooms, kitchens, warehouses and stables to help out where you can. Someone will be there to tell you what to do. The rest of you, move out! I want you all to be ready before nightfall!"  
"Yes sir!" The priests and novices quickly ran to do as they were told.  
"Wow. So fast." Raenef muttered as they were left alone in the large courtyard.  
"Hey. How are we going to get to wherever?" Chris asked Raenef.  
"Oh no." Hejem interrupted. "_You_ are staying _here_."  
"_What_?!" Chris was beside himself. "And miss the first battle in…" He had to think of the date of the last battle of the Hangma war but couldn't remember it. "Ages! _No way_!"  
"You are the next High Cleric of Rased." His master said patiently. "It wouldn't do if you were killed in battle."  
"I won't be killed! I'll be with Raenef the entire time. Won't I?" Chris said turning to his buddy.  
"Uh…" Raenef didn't know what to say. But luckily he didn't have to say anything as the teleportation circle began glowing again and Eclipse stepped out in full scary armour. With long knives, eerie shoulder pads and foreboding cape. His entire image promised pain and suffering to his enemies. "Hey Eclipse!" Raenef greeted happily. "What's with the face mask?"  
"You're really scary looking…" Chris said nervously.  
"…That's the point…" Eclipse said flatly.  
An ominous wind blew between the four.  
Hejem sighed before admitting to Eclipse. "I think we've both gone a little overboard."  
"We are about to deal with Lord Krayon." Eclipse reminded them. "We will need all the assistance we can get."  
"What do you want the Crusaders for?" Chris asked.  
"You'll see when we get there." Hejem muttered as he stalked off to prepare his own things.  
"You mean… I can go?!"  
"You can go." The old man sighed. "Go pack your things."  
"Whoohoo!" Chris threw his arms in the air and shouted, "Alright!" before tearing off past his master.  
"Excuse Chris." Hejem said to Eclipse before walking off. "He won't be so enthusiastic when he sees the aftermath of battle."  
Eclipse nodded before turning to his lord. "The Crusaders are ready and awaiting our arrival to take them to Erutis's army. A suggest we make haste."  
"Okay!" Raenef chirruped before skipping back into the circle and disappearing in a flash of light and smoke.

* * *

Erutis's men were startled to find two armies worth of solders appear out of thin air. "Hello!" A chirpy young boy said as he bounded ahead from beside his very scary guardian at the front of the crowd of armed dragon-like troops, with their dirty great big weapons, and gave the men a wave. "I'm the Great and Scary Ancient Demon Lord Raenef V. Hey, who's in charge now?"  
All the stupefied men pointed to a man at their head. "Umm… I think that's me, at the moment…" The poor man said.  
"Great!" Raenef completely ignored the tense air and looked up at Eclipse, who had lead the Crusaders to stand beside him.  
"Have you heard news of the Demon Lord Krayon?" Eclipse asked as the Clerics and Priests came alongside the Crusaders, each eyeing the other.  
"Not yet." The man vigorously shook his head.  
"We'll camp here for the night," Hejem said from the front of his grim faced gathering of white and blue, shouldering staffs and religious charms. "and meet you later to talk strategy."  
Eclipse just nodded as they each led their parties a respectable distance from each other and started to enlarge the temporary camp the solders had already made.

"Heads up! He's coming!!!" Was the wakeup call at 5 the next morning.  
"Rally the Clerics!" Hejem called as he stood outside his tent, tucking his nightshirt into his trousers and slipping his robes over them as a younger priest held his breastplate and chainmail.  
"Crusaders to me!" Eclipse yelled as he burst from Raenef's tent in full battle armour.  
The lookout pointed to the sky where a figure in a bellowing orange cape stood and surveyed the apposing camp. When the apposing men saw him they all ran to the protection of the abandoned castle they were camped around, ignoring Hejem and Raenef's troops who were forming a barrier around the enemy. Crusaders were paired with a cleric or priest as they stood at the ready, weapons levelled for any who happened to run their way.  
"He won't attack immediately." Hejem told Chris as they stood beside Eclipse and Raenef.  
"He wouldn't dare." Eclipse agreed.  
"Why?" Chris and Raenef asked.  
"He might blow Erutis to bits." Hejem answered.  
"You would of known that, if you both hadn't fallen asleep in the meeting lastnight." Eclipse said flatly.  
'Oh yeah…' Both boys blushed with embarrassment as their mentors turned back to the battle.

* * *

Krayon was hovering there, arms crossed as the army behind him got ready. Slowly he raised an arm and a great wind began, blowing all the enemy's empty tents away. As one blew over Krayon could see, with his very keen eyesight, that it contained a pole with bloodied rope wrapped around it by the wind. With a snarl the demon lowered himself to hover directly in front of the pole and delicately sniffed the rope he had noticed. Krayon's eyes glowed red as he recognised Erutis's scent and he gave a dangerous growl as he flew straight into the air and conjured up a massive fireball and lobbed it at the enemy.  
Walls crumbled and men screamed as Krayon continued his assault, always following his nose for Erutis. The enemy ran as fast as they could away from the crazed Demon Lord only to be met with the spears and axe's of the crusaders as the clerics and priests made sure that none of the flying fiery rubble passed their point in the wall and squish them.  
Finally Krayon found her, after ripping off the roof of the building with a blast of fire, making her captors flee to be burnt, smooshed, flattened, chopped in half, spiked, trampled by scared men and horses or to meet some other unpleasant death.  
Erutis was sleeping on the straw floor of her cell like a baby. Apparently the noise of Death and Destruction had only served as a lullaby instead of violently waking her from her sleep. She had been carried and dumped into the cell by the head bandits cronies so she lay stretched out on the ground with drool dripping from her mouth and sleep crusted around her eyes in her nightdress which had defiantly seen better days.  
But, apparently, that is not what Krayon saw.  
'My beautiful Erutis…' He thought in awe as he silently landed and knelt to gently pick her up just as dawn rays shone through torn-opened roof and shone on his beloved's hair, giving it the effect of copper, and giving her skin a warm glow. Tucking her against his chest, Krayon carefully flew upwards so as not to jolt her awake.  
When Erutis finally awoke she found herself pleasantly warm and wrapped in a big orange blanket as the smell of the pure dawn air reached her, followed by the slight smell of burning. Blinking sleepily she looked over the scene of mass destruction drowsily. "You are awake, my love." Slowly she turned her head to look up at Krayon's proudly beaming face.  
"Uh…? Krayon…?" Erutis gave a great yawn and figured she must still be dreaming as the feeling of comfortable warmth mixed with the cool morning air was heavenly.  
"I saved you from your captors and destroyed them in fiery retribution for their crimes." Krayon almost sounded _too_ happy. But then again… he _is_ a Demon Lord.  
"… That's nice…" Was all Erutis said before snuggling down against his chest, making his smile wider and giving a faint blush.  
Krayon bent his head down and whispered gently. "And I do this all for you…"  
"Uh-hmm." Erutis nodded, eyes shut and still in sleepy mode.  
Krayon gave a small chuckle but before he could pull his face away, Erutis turned her head and caught him with her big drowsy eyes. "…Thanks…" Was all she muttered before her hand sneaked out of its warm confineds and held his cheek as she gave him a brief peck on the lips.

* * *

Krayon descended with the silliest smile on his face, completely out of it.  
"Hey, Erutis!" Raenef shouted as he joyfully ran between the blood splattered men and Crusaders to stop and jump up and down to see his reclaimed friend. "We were really worried about you, ya know!" The boy smiled as Eclipse glided beside him.  
Erutis blinked. "Huh? What're you guys doing here?"  
"We came to rescue you, but it looks like Krayon got there first. Poo." Raenef looked a little disappointed before snapping out of it and giving her a big grin. "But I'm glad you're okay."  
"Hey, Krayon? What's with the creepy face?" Chris asked as he and his master trotted up after the two demons.  
"Uh?" Erutis blinked at the sight of the annoying boy and defiantly knew that the only dream she would have that involved Chris would be one where the boy would be meeting an untimely demise. Or where she used a pin to deflate his large, hot air bloated, ego. Making his head pop off and zoom across the room like a deflating balloon.  
Heh. That was one of her favourites.  
Erutis looked around again, seeing everything in a new light. 'Oh… _Fuck_.' She looked up again and saw Krayon's delusional face. 'Oh fuck. I just…! …Oh, _fuck_!'  
"Erutis? Hello…?" Raenef asked, concerned as he waved an outstretched hand in her face.  
"Raenef?" Erutis asked vaguely.  
"Huh?"  
"Could you use magic and pack all my men's stuff up for them?"  
"Um, I think so." Raenef scratched his head in thought. "But it's a bit complex with so many people around."  
"Just do it, please."  
Eclipse snorted and did the spell himself as Raenef tried to figure out how to start it.  
"But why?" The demon lord looked from his guardian to his friend.  
"What's going on?" Chris asked. Hejem just shrugged and Eclipse, who had seen the whole thing with his cool demon hawk-like vision, sighed.  
"Boss?" Erutis's men looked confused as they had suddenly found themselves packed and on their, equally confused, horses.  
Erutis quickly slid out of Krayon's limp arms, ran to her nervous horse and jumped on. "See you guys!" She called as she gave the signal and the gang rode out as fast as they could.  
"Um…" Chris and Raenef sweat dropped as they watched the retreating figures disappear into the sunrise, swearing they could hear Erutis laughing as she rode away.  
"My love…?" Krayon blinked and then realised Erutis wasn't in his arms anymore. She wasn't even in a 2 mile radius.  
"She went that-a-way." Chris pointed out.  
"WAIT! MY LOVE!!!" Krayon zoomed into the air and flew in the direction Chris pointed.  
"But…" Raenef stuttered and looked confused at the older males around him, "Didn't Erutis go that way?" pointing in the opposite direction Chris had.  
"Yes." Hejem admitted with a shrug. "But _he_," Meaning Krayon. "doesn't know that."  
'Sneaky.' Eclipse nodded, silently approving with Hejem's methods. 'Hejem has taught him well…"  
"Lets go home." Hejem sighed as he turned and lead his people back to the teleportation circle and back to the high temple of Rased.  
"Lets go, my lord." Eclipse sighed as he whisked Raenef and the remaining Crusaders home.

Fin!

(The End! Yay! Hope you liked it! Please Review!)


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